03.01
I organize life through my Inbox. It’s my To-Do list. An email stays in the Inbox until I complete the request, then I file it or delete it. My goal by the end of the week is to have a clean Inbox. So, I sleep well when my Inbox is empty.
I have a friend in Florida, Carey Roesel. He does things differently. He leaves all non-spam emails in his Inbox, so he can “have easy access to them.” For Carey, his Inbox is a snapshot of his life… past, present, and future. Right now Carey has over 21,000 emails in his Inbox. 21,000. Can you believe it??? He would have over 40,000 emails, but his computer crashed a couple of years ago and he lost about 19,000.
When I first heard about Carey’s Inbox, it freaked me out! I developed a twitch right there on the spot. It overwhelmed me and I began to shut down, but somehow… it doesn’t bother Carey. He’s brilliant. Mensa brilliant. He remembers every email in his box and has a (not so simple) system for finding them. (He explained his system to me once, but I couldn’t understand it, either.)
This brings me to my issue with God. God rarely does things the way I would do them. I read passages like Genesis 12 and I wonder why God would choose Abraham to father ‘His people’. No offense to Abraham and his descendants, but he had significant issues. Why didn’t God consider Noah? He was still alive then. Wouldn’t he be a better candidate???
God’s ways are amazing, frustrating, and confusing… all at the same time. But when I start looking at all the issues that He has to deal with, they quickly overwhelm me and keep me up at night. So, I find great comfort that God’s managing the world’s Inbox, not me. I figure… if Carey’s Inbox gives me a twitch, imagine what I’d get if I saw God’s…
Anyone want to share a time when God’s ‘ways’ didn’t make sense to you?
Ken, as a volunteer at the Lighthouse Family Retreats, I’ve gotten to know and love several families who have children battling cancer. And several of those children have died. It is hard for me to even type that word; I keep wanting to substitute “gone to Heaven” or “they’re dancing with Jesus now”. When talking about the suffering and death of a child, it is HARD to see God’s plan, or even His fingerprints ANYWHERE in the situation. But then I see some of these folks lay it all down and let God use it, and it simply blows me away. He redeems the pain and suffering, and it’s possible to SEE that, even here. Meanwhile, I sit on the side of my boy’s bed in the early morning light; I look at his sleeping face… and I realize that this is my piece of Heaven here on earth. And I wonder if I could ever lay it down the way some of my heroes have… I wonder.
Maybe God chose those people to demonstrate to us that it is not about us. If God chose the very best of us to make His plan work then the rest of us would get discouraged about our shortcommings and never get the message that we need God. It is not about our character or abilities but our obedience to Gods will. As soon as I beging to get prideful and try to deceive myself that it was due to all of my hard work, I remember where it all came from. Being grounded and humble is a Jesus trait we should all try to emulate.
“God’s ways are amazing, frustrating, and confusing… all at the same time”…… you nailed that Ken! I know that Cindy’s illness has a purpose that neither of us can see or come close to comprehending…it’s very frustrating…..confusing doesn’t even begin to describe times in my life when I’ve pleaded with God for understanding. But it is also utterly AMAZING that He’s tolerated my insecurities, doubts, anger, frustration, rebellion, immaturity and lack of faith and can use Cindy’s condition to bring others closer to Him. I’m AMAZED that despite me and my actions, He has never left me alone……..although I felt alone at times….I’ve made reference before to the poem, “Footprints In The Sand”……it’s so true; He’s carried me when I didn’t even realize it. I just wished that I could be consistent in faith and obedience.