08.30
I said that I would get this post up last week. Sorry for the delay. Our family was operating in a whirlwind last week. We received a call on Tuesday about a foreign exchange student living with us. He was here by Friday. (This process normally takes months, but the student was already in the United States and the host organization needed to move him to a new home, so it all moved super fast.)
This week is settling down some and I wanted to get to the questions about the Sabbath. I’ve received several practical questions about taking a sabbath and I wanted to answer them in the blog. I hope you will join the discussion this week and share your thoughts on taking a sabbath, too.
1. I missed the Sunday you talked about the sabbath, but I’m familiar with the concept. Should I take it on a Saturday or Sunday?
I don’t want to sound arrogant here, but first… I’d recommend that you go listen to my lesson on the Sabbath: Breathe – Inhale / Stress Free Living Begins with the Sabbath. You can find it at: http://www.westcobbchurch.com/watch There are some key points in the lesson that you’ll need (and in all likelihood haven’t heard before).
But to answer your question, the Sabbath is any 24 hour period of time where you rest, reflect, and do things you enjoy. I usually take my Sabbath from Friday dinner to Saturday dinner, but sometimes that changes.
2. My kid’s sports schedule keep me from taking a Sabbath. What should we do?
Cut back on the sports. Trust God on this one. Our children have become HUGE idols in our culture and we’re honoring them over God. The ‘higher level’ sports leagues (travel ball, etc…) are usually organized by people whose life goals are way out of balance. I often wonder why we allow dysfunctional people to set the tone of our families???
3. I’m a stay at home mom with preschoolers. How do I get a 24 hour period away from them?
You don’t. 
You and single parents (with children living in the home) have the hardest time taking a sabbath; yet you still need to do it. The sabbath takes planning to make it happen. If you’re married, let your spouse care for the children for a few hours on your sabbath. Actually, spending time with the children could be part of his sabbath. Shawna and I often did that – and still do. On our Sabbath, Shawna hangs out with friends and I hang out with the kids.
Of course, you’ll still change diapers and help with some minor chores on your sabbath. In your life stage, it’s hard to get 24 continuous hours where you have none of that, but try to minimize it as much as possible. No laundry. Minimal cooking (sandwiches vs. a fully cooked meal). Less organized activities for the children to attend (let them hang out at the house and play).
If you’re a single parent with sole custody of your children, you have it even tougher. And again, planning is KEY to make this work – but it’s worth it. Your children will benefit from you taking a sabbath as much as you do. One option is to find someone to watch your children for a half day and then slow the other half of your sabbath ‘day’ waaaay down (see the paragraph above). When our children were younger and couldn’t stay by themselves at the house, Shawna and I would trade off babysitting with other parents. It was a cheap option that gave us time away, too.
4. I feel guilty about having my husband watch the children on his Sabbath.
This is one of the MANY ways that taking a sabbath puts us face to face with our guilt & fears. First, you’re husband isn’t ‘watching’ the children. He’s ‘spending time’ with his children. It’s important for him to spend time with his children and should be part of his sabbath. Second, take your sabbath even though you feel guilty – and use the ‘Exhaling’ process that we talked about on Aug 15th to work through the guilt. Taking a sabbath will do you, your marriage, and your kids so much good!
Now… Post your thoughts about Breathing in the comments below. Looking forward to watching the discussion…
You know me pretty well and I have to say the sabbath thing has been the hardest thing for me to get my arms around. I don’t do well being idle. I don’t do well if something needs to be done. I don’t give myself partial credit…. that is, If I do 23 hours of a sabbath right but work for 1 – it’s a failure and I kick myself for failing… that being said, I just finished the closest thing to a sabbath I have had ever.
The first week of the challenge, due to prior plans, there really was no way I could even consider it. The second week, I planned, I worked towards it, I fought like a beaver in the forest to get there – but come Sunday – everything fell apart. I guess I got in some relaxation and reflection – but not much.
Yesterday – through MORE planning, MORE preperation, MORE thought… I think I got to about 23.5 hours of sabbathing (is that a word?) It was REALLY hard for me to sit idle. I had to force myself to lay down and take a nap so I didn’t nervously scury around the house doing random chores that wouldn’t really amount to much.
LIke a lot of things I do since becoming a follower of Christ, I have to have faith in this. I am “doing this deal” becuase you say it will help me. Much like weight loss…. removing stress and burden from my life is a PROCESS not and EVENT… I’m trying.
A couple of thoughts on other comments and questions – If the kids have a game of some sort, I would love to go to them on my sabbath. I enjoy watching them play – Derek especially. As I see him go from a dependent little munckin to a strong boy, it’s a wonderful thing. If they keep the score close, the excitement of the game is also really good stuff! It may not be the NHL, NBA, NFL or anything … but it’s good competition which is fun for me!
And going to watch a ballgame that your children are playing in is great! But going to watch five games in one day doesn’t qualify. The ‘higher level’ of sports (club teams, traveling teams) have a way of sucking families into a black hole. Just when they think it can’t get any worse, it does. The families start the programs with the best intentions, but it the team’s priorities start to take precedent over God’s priorities.
This is an awesome discussion. I felt the tug of the Spirit on this need quite a while back but couldn’t get it all in focus, and certainly not in a way that would make sense to anyone else involved.
THANKS for facilitating and shining some light on this important discussion and topic!
Jeff
P.S. This is a Non-LNI subject for me
Our family has fallen victim to the black hole of higly competitive sports, specifically travel baseball. While we had the best intentions for our kids, it created havoc for our family.
I’m really concerned how youth sports has started to destroy Sundays. When I was growing up, there was no organized sports events on Sundays. Now, there is baseball games at 8AM, football pictures that start at 12 noon, basketball tryouts…etc, etc, etc. What up with that? If you don’t cut out some stuff, you’ll never have a Sabbath.
If your kids are interested in competitve sports, I encourage you to seek out the faith-based organizations. FCA is a growing baseball organization that plays competitive baseball, but at a reasonable pace. They also do a lot of mission work as teams. There are several good Upward programs in the area.
We enjoyed our Sabbath yesterday…church, lunch with family and the kids played with friends. As a result, we had a great Monday. Yes, we skipped football pictures and some travel team tryout, but who cares today?
I love knowing that even with the Sabbath there is no legalism. Not another thing to make me feel quilty. As a new single mom I was wondering how how would accomplish this Sabbath business. I have not acheived a full 24 hours yet but I have made a conscious effort to carve out me time. I have seen two movies, and had a dinner and a lunch and a breakfast out with friends in the past two weeks. That alone is HUGE for me. It was also refreshing! I may not be able to get the full 24 hours every week but if I plan I could get the half days in! Thanks Ken for this series! How about permission to breathe and eat too! Lke chocolate!