03.03
This story in Genesis 16 is one of the craziest stories in the Bible. Sarah tells Abraham to sleep with her servant, Hagar, because Sarah feels guilty about being childless. Abraham obliges Sarah. Sarah then blames Abraham for following her advice.
I’ve always thought it would be easier if people lived by the motto, “Say What You Mean; Mean What You Say.” It’s just not that simple, though. Relationships are complicated and Abraham learned an important lesson that day: People often say one thing, but mean another. When Sarah said what she did, she wanted to be consoled by her husband. She needed to hear that he trusted God and didn’t need another ‘partner’ to bear a child. Abraham missed the boat all together.
I miss the boat, too, when it comes to people. But I’m learning to trust a VERY IMPORTANT communication tool when understanding people… their body language. Only 7% of our communication is through words. That’s why, “Say What You Mean; Mean What You Say” only works if you take in the other 93% of communication – body language and vocal tone. It’s amazing how our body language (almost) never lies. So as I become a student of people’s body language, God gives me insights into what people are really thinking. It’s important that I hear and see ALL their communication, not just their words.
We really do ‘Say What We Mean; Mean What We Say.’ We just communicate with more than words. If Abraham had watched Sarah’s body language on this one day, thousands of years ago, his life – and ours – would have been much, much easier. (More about that on Sunday.)
What’s God saying to you through these verses? Have you ever took someone’s words literally, only to discover that’s not what they meant?
WOW, is this ever true. In relationships at time we get so hung up in doing what we think our mate wants only to find out we were wrong. True communication starts with honesty. Please don’t tell your mate what you think they want to hear but tell them how you feel. Yes, this does take some diplomacy being blunt about certian things isn’t always the best mode of communication, but being honest is. Sara, should have discussed her feeling to Abraham and Abraham should have really listened to Sara’s underlining meaning. Ken you make a great point about body language, I wonder what Sara’s was when she made this statement?
One advantage of being married for going on 30 years, at least for me and Cindy is, we pretty much know what the other is thinking without a word being said. You finish each others sentences; you look at each other at the exact same time; you start humming a song together; your response to something on tv is the same; your reaction to an event is predictable! We also pickup on those “silent” communications – we know somethings out of whack before a word is said, or if we’re on the phone, the slight changes are glaringly obvious to each of us. To Mike’s point, honesty is required…..when the communication channels are open and honest you can overcome, possibly even prevent, more serious challenges in life.