After reading this thread I felt compelled to share a poem that I wrote. It’s being included in a book that I’ve been working on for several years (kind of a coping mechanism over the years)

“October 1, 2003………Traveling an un-desirable road

Over twenty-two years ago I began a new adventure down life’s road with my soul mate, my love, my partner, my lover……………..my spouse. Oh the dreams we had of children, two cars, a dog, a cat, our own home, an enjoyable career and early retirement to grow old together. We had life by the tail and stood ready to blaze a trail down life’s road together. There was no way that we could have known that we would soon be…… traveling an un-desirable road.

We were traveling down life’s road as a married couple for about six months when we began to realize that perhaps a bridge was out on the road of life. It first started with a few bumps in the road, eventually we discovered that we were headed down a road that neither of us was fully prepared for. A road that we would find was filled with peril. We realized that we were……………………..traveling an un-desirable road

Friends would call or come by and see that our trip down life’s road was bumpy. The typical responses would be: “hang in there,” “it’ll get better,” “we’re praying for you,” and the best one, “if there is anything I/we can do you just let us know.” Never actually offering anything other than words, never understanding that our days are often so overwhelming that we are afraid to ask for help for fear of being turned down or for fear of being disappointed again. Sadly, the reality is they were probably hoping that I would never actually CALL and want some help……………………traveling an un-desirable road

Oh they didn’t say it exactly that way but over the years, after disappointment, followed by disappointment you learn not to expect any follow-up or follow-through. On a rare occasion someone would come along and offer something tangible. Not a phrase, not a wish, but something real, a meal for example, pick-up items at the drug store or grocery store, a ride to the doctor’s office and the most precious gift of all……………a compassionate ear, just let you talk, cry, scream, rant and rave, without casting judgment and without interruption. Giving wise counsel in a gentle, non-threatening and very caring way……..REAL, MEANINGFUL STUFF that would help in my……………………..traveling an un-desirable road

Over the years you become accustomed to “friends” never having any time for you. You grow immune to the coldness that society offers to not only the chronically/terminally ill, but to the caregivers. You eventually realize that there will be more days that you will be alone…………………traveling an un-desirable road”
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Since writting this seven years ago, God has filled the voids and healed the wounds and allowed me to bask in His love and grace. I was sharing with Wes just yesterday that in years past, at this point when Cindy’s immediate health crisis had subsided and I knew she was going to be okay, I would be in a state of shear anger at God. Now, I’m at peace, only because of His grace.

I share this with not for pity for me, but the reality is that’s typical in our society today. We, collectively have TREMENDOUS opportunity to minister to those all around us that are hurting. We can minister in ACTION….sometimes that action is complete silence….a friendly, non-condeming ear….no platitudes, no trying to “fix” the situation…..

Today’s verses about contentment really stuck out to me. Paul went through it all, but he did not let his external circustances affect his internal peace. So often, I let little things impact my contentment. I don’t want to let anything rob me of that joy that Jesus gave me through his Spirit. Again, the word “perspective” comes to mind. Paul’s contentment came from his God-confidence, he knew God would give him the strength to deal with all his circumstance. I want to have that kind of confidence in God, that I KNOW I can do anything in His strength.

If God had pulled you out of the fires as often as He has had to pull me out of the fires, it wouldn’t be that hard to believe that God is near. I understand that no one wants the fires, but those fires are the things that send you running to Him. And compassion is pretty easy when so much love and compassion is sent your way. Now patience! That takes work! Perseverance is hard!

I thank you again for your prayers and concern!

Today is a bad day. It’s like dying in slow motion. Of course, satan knows when you’re down and takes the opportunity for a full court press. Friends are praying for me, so he’s at bay but still prowling the perimeter. I found out I had cancer three years ago. I’ve had a procedure, but tests showed that something was not ‘gotten’. I’m taking an investigational medicine to halt tumor growth, and that seems to be working. My ‘numbers’ are looking good now.

Even with people that love you and help you everyday, it’s still easy to feel isolated by all these things that assail you. But I’ve cut the lifeboat loose. Like Paul, I’m believing that God will save me and give me all those that are sailing with me. Everyday I feel terrible physically, but I know that God is near. I should be worried and concerned like my wonderful wife, but usually, I’m not anxious. I know when you’re in the middle of things like this that advice is worthless, because who can know what this is like. I feel a connection to everyone who is struggling like this. When I pray for them, I understand at least a little bit how overwhelming it can all become. Answers are hard to come by, but compassion should not be. I appreciate everyone who’s shared their sorrows and difficulties. You’re not alone. And we do care.